I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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