I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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