you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
