I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
