dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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