I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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