No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
