I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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