also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
