JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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