But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
