dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
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And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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