somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
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What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The feeling are messing with the penis
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Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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