dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize