you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
