We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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