I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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