OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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