sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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