pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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