i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
