My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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