they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
