I just threw up on my dentist
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
