he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She even gives head with a lisp.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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