i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
