how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
In other news, I just burned my penis
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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