Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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