Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
True strength comes from lack of pants
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
