i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
