where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
