What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
