Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Pooping to opera.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
