guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
wow bdsm is so cute
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
