So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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