She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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