i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
