we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Damn victory sex feels great
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