we have officially lost it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't deserve a penis
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
