We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
