Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
