I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
