She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
