weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
BRING THE BAGELS
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
