Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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