omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
