you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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