I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
is that a dick in a sweater?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
