Little spoons don't ask big questions
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
