my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sorry about my life...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
