he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
