HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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