didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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