and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
