Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
