i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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