Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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