try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I need moral support for this bender
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize