do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
