Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We have so much sex to catch up on
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
